10. A girl peed her pants three times in two consecutive days. Two of those times happened while we are on a potty break. The third time happened while she danced around the room, holding herself, yet refused to go to the bathroom - until, obviously, it was too late.
9. A girl told me her throat hurt and then 5 minutes later threw up. Wait a minute. I thought your tummy hurt when you needed to throw up - not your throat. Silly me. The next day, a boy told me he felt fine (I asked about all body parts - does your head hurt? No. Does your throat hurt? No. Does your tummy hurt? No. Do your ears hurt? No. Are you tired? I guess.) And then 5 minutes later he comes running up to me, hands over his mouth, alarmed look in his eyes. GET TO THE TRASH CAN!!! Too little too late. Two pukers in two days. Go figure.
8. In the middle of class a boy suddenly yelled out, "I QUIT!" To which I replied, "ME TOO! Let's get out of here!" Luckily he thought that was funny and fixed whatever caused him to become so frustrated with 5 year old life that he felt the need to quit.
7. I told one of my boys that he needed to stop walking like a dinosaur and start walking like a boy. To which he replied, "I'm not a dinosaur. I'm a monster." Oh excuse me. Since you're a monster then, by all means, continue running into people and rolling your head around until you fall over.
6. During an alphabet recognition assessment: Me: "Ok, point at the letters and tell me which letter you see." Boy: "4, 7, 1, 15 . . ." Me: "Wait, wait. Are you looking carefully at these LETTERS?" Boy: "Yes. 6, 9, 12, 16. . . " Me: "So and So, these are letters, not numbers. You know, A B C . . " Boy: "I know. 14, 16, 3, 2, 8." Me: (I give up).
5. During a different alphabet recognition assessment: Me: "Tell me which letters you see." Girl: "A, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E . . ." Me: "Make sure you look carefully at the letters. They aren't all the same." Girl: "I know teacher. G, G, G, G, G, G, G. . . " Me: (I give up).
4. Heard yelled through the classroom: "Teacher! So and So says I'm a tattle tale." Me: "Guess what you're doing right now?"
3. A little boy tattled on a girl saying that she had said bad words about me. Well, I was not going to let this slide so I asked him what she said. He got all red in the face and whispered, "You have a big fat belly." HAHA! Well, I do.
2. I have been called "mama," "mom," and "mommy" more times than I can count but the best came one day when Mark came into my room for a minute and when he left one of my boys yelled out, "Bye Dad!"
1. This one is just cute: the other day the kids were on the rug and I was sitting in a chair reading them a story. All of a sudden one of the kids noticed a bug about to crawl up my leg. And it was the nastiest, ugliest bug I have ever seen! So I commenced trying to run it over with my chair wheel, but the darn thing would not die. Suddenly one of my little boys came running over, shoe in hand, and smacked the thing. It worked! It died! I told the boy he was my hero and he just beamed all day! So cute!
3 comments:
Didn't you know that monsters have the right-of-way? Where were you during kindergarten... sheesh :) I'm still moping around depressed that you didn't come play roommates again with me last weekend. I wanted to see your big fat belly.
Oh my goodness, this is hilarious! Love your posts :)
Seriously: write a book. I'd eat it up in a jiffy. This is good stuff!
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